


The Golden Egg

by Autumns_Slumber



Series: Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Comedy, Fluff, Humor, M/M, Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-10
Updated: 2016-05-10
Packaged: 2018-06-07 14:05:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,931
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6808159
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Autumns_Slumber/pseuds/Autumns_Slumber
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Weasley Twins are back for even more fun...their new target? Easter! So of course, Harry is in for an interesting day...Second in the Weasley Wizarding Wheezes series.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Golden Egg

**Author's Note:**

> This is the second in a series. Reading "The Red Letter" first is recommended to understand what is going on.

**The Golden Egg**

 

*************************

  


_Our Dearest Friend Harry,_

_Hey mate! How are things? We heard from Ron that you and Draco are getting pretty serious! Of course we’re delighted for you, mate, so don’t worry about Ron’s disgust. He’ll get over it! Anyways, guess what? Well we decided to take your advice and looked into muggle holidays to see if we could exploit any of them and discovered that today is Easter! Apparently Easter is only celebrated by a few of the muggle religions or whatever they are, but it’s a pretty funny holiday! A giant bunny runs around the world and fills baskets with candy and stuff for kids. And eggs, too! Where they got the idea that bunnies eat/lay eggs I’ll never know…Anyway, since Valentine's Day was such a huge hit, we decided to try out a new product for Easter! You should receive a box full of multicolored chocolate eggs with this letter. Hand them out to all of the Houses, will you? Even the Slytherins, because we got a rather disturbing letter from old Dumbledore about equality and some-such rubbish. They’re just chocolates really, but they’re spelled so the eater will get the characteristics of either a bunny or a chick. No, not a girl, an actual chick. Muggles like them on Easter apparently. The effects last 12 hours, so be sure to let everyone know! Anyways, enjoy! Oh and almost forgot, we made a special white-chocolate one for you since we know you love white chocolate more than any other kind. Enjoy!_

_The Twins_

 

Harry tucked the letter back into the envelope and tossed it onto his bed, turning his attention to the box in front of him. He opened it up without much hesitation. He’d decided to give the Weasley Twins more credit since the Valentine's Day incident, because really the two had done a brilliant job. He and Draco were ecstatically happy.

In fact, this morning Draco had left to go with Dumbledore to 12 Grimauld Place to have a meeting with them. Or at least that’s what Dumbledore called it, but Harry knew it was really going to be an interrogation to ensure that Draco was on their side now. Harry had wanted to go, but Moody and some of the others had decided that he wasn’t allowed to since he had ‘conflicting emotions’ on the matter. In other words, he was Draco’s boyfriend.

Drawing himself out of those thoughts with a grin, he looked into the box and saw several dozens of colorfully wrapped eggs. A little bunny or chick hopped around on the colorful foil wrappers, making Harry chuckle. He spotted the golden wrapped egg immediately, and knew just by looking at it that it had to be his egg. There wasn’t a bunny or a chick on the wrapper though, and Harry frowned. _I wonder which attributes I’ll get?_

Harry pictured himself with fuzzy white bunny ears and a cottontail, and it sent him into a fit of laughter. Then he thought of Draco’s reaction to his new appearance and grinned broadly. Oh, there would _definitely_ be benefits to bunny ears. If Harry ate it now, it would still be good for when Draco got back, and then they could have some kinky fun.

With that thought firmly in place, Harry picked up the golden egg and unwrapped it, smiling at the white chocolate. True, he liked all sorts of chocolate, but white was really his favorite. He took a bite, closing his eyes in ecstasy at the wonderful taste. One thing that could never be disputed: The Twins really made fantastic chocolate.

Pushing the letter over, he sat on the bed and chewed on his chocolate while wondering what everyone else was doing. It was Sunday, so there were no classes and most of the students were at Hogsmeade. He knew Ron and Hermione had likely gone to the Room of Requirement to get some alone time. Ginny and Dean had planned to get some ice-cream in Hogsmeade with Seamus and Neville. Others were studying for the upcoming finals. So Harry was alone in his dorm, and in about two hours he’d be going to meet Draco in one of the abandoned classrooms in the dungeons that they had taken for their own.

Harry finished off the last of the chocolate egg, sighing at the pleasure of eating such a delicious chocolate, when suddenly his fingers started to tingle. Blinking, he looked at them but found nothing wrong. Then the tingle spread up his arms, across shoulders, down the entire length of his body until finally it went up to his head. And then, with a popping sound, Harry found that the entire room had suddenly grown much larger. Eyes widening, he took in his bed which was at least three or four times the size that it had been a moment ago. He stood and walked forward cautiously and that was when he realized that he was walking on his hands and knees. Perplexed, Harry looked down at his hands again...and saw paws. _Bunny_ paws. White bunny paws. He yelped and jumped backwards...only to land on his back.

Immediately rolling over, he turned around but his turn was more of a hop and he found himself a good foot away from where he had previously been standing. Frantic now, he looked over his shoulder and twisted about to see...a white furry back, white furry back paws, and a _very_ white, fluffy tail. Then it dawned on him: _Oh my god, I’ve been turned into a bunny!_

Panicked, Harry ran/hopped towards the edge of the bed. Misinterpreting the distance and his newfound speed, Harry hopped just a bit too far and went toppling to the stone floor. He cried out, and was very shocked to only hear a very high-pitched squeak come from his mouth. He landed on his feet, or paws as they were, with a click sound. Freezing, Harry stayed perfectly still. His eyes were wide and he looked around cautiously.

Grateful that there was no one around, he moved forward slowly, hearing that clicking sound again. He glanced down and raised a paw for inspection. It was his nails, or rather claws. They kept clicking on the stone whenever he moved.

And then, all of a sudden, his paw twitched. He sat up on his haunches, bringing both twitching paws to his face, and licked them. He then rubbed them over his face quickly, bringing them back to his mouth to lick again. He turned his head, grabbing a long ear in his paws and bending it down to wipe with his paws. Then his face shook and he brought his paws back to his mouth, licked, and repeated the process with his other ear. He did that twice more before his whole body shook and he sat on all four paws again, feeling for some strange reason very pleased.

And then of course he realized that he had just _bathed_ himself with his _paws_ . He was not pleased. _Bloody hell, I’m a bunny. I’m a hopping, twitching, fluffy little bunny! I can’t believe this! I have to get out of here before someone sees me. I’ll go to Draco! Oh wait he isn’t there, damn...okay, it’ll take me a while to get down to the dungeons, so I should start now and then I can hide down there while I’m waiting for Draco to come back._

Nodding to himself, Harry moved forward, twitching at the sound of the clicking from his claws. When he reached the door, he looked up, way up, at the handle. _Oh, crap._ After that very eloquent statement, he did the only very logical thing to do: He pushed against the door with his head. Unfortunately, he didn’t realize that his nose was so sensitive and immediately hopped backwards in pain. He sneezed, causing his whole body to twitch.

Then he moved back towards the door, turned so he was sideways next to it, and leaned all of his weight against it. Unfortunately all that did was cause his paws to slide on the stone, causing him to lose his balance and fall onto his side. He wriggled a bit and managed to get himself rolled back onto his feet. Then he stared at the door, glaring in his bunny-form. _If only I had my blasted wand..._

That’s when the ingenious idea came into his mind. He could hold his wand in his teeth. Surely he could cast spells in bunny-form, right? They would have to be silent since it seemed rabbits didn’t make any noise. Every time he tried to talk he only succeeded in opening and closing his mouth. So surely silent spells would work more efficiently as an animal, right? In any case, it was the best idea he had and so he hop/ran back over to his bed. And stared up.

Mentally cringing from the height, he looked around for something he could use as leverage. His gaze fell on his trunk, which rested at the foot of his bed. He calculated the distance. With his hopping skills, he should be able to jump onto it. So he moved several feet away from the trunk, started run/hopping, and jumped. To his utter delight, he landed on top of the trunk. From there it was another short jump onto the bed, and he hopped over to his pile of clothes. He rummaged about until he found his wand, and grasped it in his teeth.

The wood tasted odd to him, and gave him a huge urge to chew on it. He resisted, and hopped back over to the foot of the bed, jumping down to the trunk and then to the floor with little difficulty. He hop/ran over to the door again, and turned his head to the side to point his wand at it. He didn’t know any spell that could open an unlocked door, so he did the only spell he could think of: _Reducto,_ he thought, and surprise of all surprises the door slammed open so hard that it hit the wall with a great deal of noise.

Harry winced, but then hopped in a circle in his excitement. He hopped out of the room and over to the stairs. He looked down the long flight of stairs and inwardly gulped. If he lost his balance, he was sure to kill himself in the fall. He moved cautiously towards the edge of the stairs and did a small hop down. Success.

It took him, by his guess, at least ten minutes to get all the way down the stairs and he found that his muscles were aching. Breathing heavily, he hopped to the middle of the common room. Surprisingly there was no one in the room, but Harry figured they must all be enjoying the sunny day in Hogsmeade or studying in the library for the soon to come finals.

Deciding he needed a break for all that hard work, Harry flopped onto his side right there in the middle of the floor, letting his wand fall out of his mouth. He lay there for a few minutes, letting his pounding heart get a rest before he rolled back onto his feet and picked up his wand in his mouth. He hopped over to the portrait entrance and surprisingly it opened without being told to. When he hopped out of the common room and into the hallway, the portrait swung shut and there was a gasp.

“I felt the presence of a student, but my goodness, you’re a rabbit!” cried the startled Fat Lady.

Harry turned about to face her, gave her a mental glare and spun about again, quickly hopping down the hall. It wouldn’t do to get caught, so he stayed close to the walls until he reached the staircases. Not wasting any time he approached them, then began his slow descent down them. Careful hop, careful hop, careful _ack!_ Harry tripped over his own paws and in his scramble to maintain his balance, dropped his wand. He watched in horror as it bounced and rolled its way down the stairs, and then right over the side of the stairs to fall down. Hopping quickly to the side of the staircase he cautiously peered his head over the edge and looked down. Way, _way_ down.

Feeling lightheaded, he moved back from the edge. _Oh, great, now I’ve lost my wand! What am I going to do now? I’ll just have to continue without it...there shouldn’t be any doors on the way to the dungeons anyway, and the sooner I get down there the quicker I can find Draco._

That decided, Harry continued down the steps. He was at the base, at least half an hour later, when he heard footsteps and voices from a little ways over, heading towards him. Looking from side to side frantically, he dashed over to a corner and huddled up as close as he could to the wall, trying to be invisible. He stood very still, barely even breathing. The voices drew closer and from around the corner came two fourth year Ravenclaws, who walked past him without even looking in his direction.

Relief making him sag, Harry remained where he was for another few minutes before heading down the hall. It took well over an hour to make it to the dungeons. He had to hide four times from students passing by. Two flights of stairs to descend. One near run-in with Professor McGonagall. Several stops to catch his breath.

All in all, Harry was very proud of himself. Now if he could just find a nice safe place near the Slytherin chambers to wait for Draco, everything would be perfect. So he hopped around, trying to stay in the shadows, looking for a place to hide and wait. He was rounding a corner when he heard the brisk footsteps heading towards him. Panicking, he spun about and ran/hopped as fast as he could, looking for a hiding spot. There were none, and Harry found himself even more frightened.

The steps got closer and Harry saw the all-too-familiar black trousers with the fluttering black robes and black shoes heading towards him. It was Professor Snape. Bane of his existence. And Harry was about to be caught. Harry stayed perfectly still, the epitome of rabbit-caught-in-the-headlights, unsure of whether to run or play invisible. His nose was twitching frantically. He was so busy trying to decide, that when Professor Snape suddenly stopped, it was a complete surprise to him.

“Well well well, what do we have here? A rabbit?” came the snide voice. “I don’t believe students are permitted to have rabbits in the school. No doubt there is one very upset student looking for you,” Snape commented dryly, smirking down at the quivering, wide-eyed rabbit that was before him. From what Snape could tell, it appeared to be a dwarf hotot of traditional white coloring with the smoky black eyeliner and a black band over its nose, almost giving the illusion of glasses. A rather uncommon breed for pets, usually used in shows. It was also perfectly acceptable for potions.

Harry scuttled back until his butt was pressed firmly into the cold stone wall as Snape took another step closer to him. _Oh merlin, he’s going to kill me!_

“I think you’ll do nicely for restocking my jar of dried rabbits feet,” commented Snape.

Before Harry could even think of running away, Snape had swooped down and grabbed him by the scruff. Kicking and making that terrifying panicked sound, Harry tried valiantly to get away, but the professor obviously knew how to handle a frightened rabbit because he put a hand on Harry’s bottom, wrapping those long fingers around his hind legs to ensure that Harry couldn’t kick. He kept his other hand firmly on the scruff, spun about, and began walking swiftly in the direction in which he came from.

Snape was quite proud of himself. Not only did he get to refill a stock of his potion ingredients for free, but he would also be able to make some poor student cry over the loss of their dear pet, which they weren’t supposed to have in the school to begin with. Of course Snape knew that the rabbit couldn’t _possibly_ belong to any of his Slytherins, because they all knew better.

Of course, he wouldn’t put it past that abysmal excuse for a wizard, Longbottom. However, Longbottom seemed to have a strong attachment to his toad, so it was unlikely that the rabbit was his. A shame really, because it would really break Longbottom’s heart to lose a pet, Snape was sure.

Snape stopped before a wall and said, “Petunias are worthless,” and the wall parted. He felt the rabbit give a twitch of fright, but Snape ignored it and walked into his chambers, letting the wall seal behind him. As soon as he was in the room, the rabbit began thrashing about so wildly that Snape feared it would snap its own neck or break its own legs. Trying desperately to get a better hold of the animal, he only managed to drop the damn thing and it darted away so quickly he barely saw which direction it went.

Snape pulled out his wand and approached the couch, where he had seen it run under. He was about to cast a _petrificus totalus_ when he remembered that using spells on muggle-bred rabbits often interfered with the quality of the potion ingredient. Scowling, he tucked his wand back into his robes and approached the couch without it.

Harry, huddled under the couch, was shaking with fear. _He isn’t just going to kill me, he’s going to put me in a potion! He’s going to chop off my feet and use them in potions! I have to get away!_ His panicked mind wanted to both run, and try to stay as still as possible in the hopes that he would become invisible. His rational brain told him that idea was ridiculous and had no merit, but the part of him that he had recently discovered as being his rabbit brain was telling him he _could_ be invisible if he just remained still long enough...

That was it, Snape had most definitely seen him. Snape was bending over to reach under the couch, Harry dashed right between the man's’ outstretched hands, ran between his legs, and got all the way across the room to hide under a desk. Breathing heavily he watched as Snape spun about with that menacing _glare_ affixed to his face. It made Harry cower and scoot back further under the desk.

It was no use though, because Snape was persistent and came after him. Harry ran out from the other side of the desk, ran around it only to see Snape waiting for him with a satisfied smirk on his face. Quickly, Harry darted to the left, then changed his mind and went to the right, making Snape who had been reaching for him on the left side grab air.

Snape cursed soundly. The damn rabbit had faked him out! Had _actually_ tricked _Snape_ ! It was unheard of! Now Snape meant business. This rabbit was _not_ going to survive the day. Tugging on his sleeves so they were out of the way, he turned a menacing glare at the rabbit. “You are going to be the house elves dinner tonight,” he threatened, “ _after_ I take those feet.”

With that, Snape lunged at the rabbit, and almost toppled over as it quickly darted away from him. He caught his balance and chased after it, hunched over with arms outstretched in a very un-Snapeish pose. He kept _almost_ catching the blasted thing, but every time he thought he could get it, it dashed in the opposite direction. And when he predicted that it would go in the opposite direction, it wouldn’t! It was like the blasted thing had a sixth sense about where Snape would reach! Snape was quickly getting frustrated, and Snape simply didn’t _do_ frustration.

Harry for his part was beginning to realize that Snape simply couldn’t catch him. As a rabbit he was small and fast, which were great attributes when one is trying to avoid being caught by a big greasy git who wants to chop of one's  paws. Feet. Whatever. In fact, the expressions on Snape's face were so unlike the cruel professor that Harry was beginning to enjoy tricking the man. Somehow, Harry could tell which direction Snape was going to reach, and managed to be just out of range for the man.

In fact, Harry began doing circles around the professor. He wove in and out of Snape's legs, darted away, came darting back and did little leaps whenever his legs gave odd muscle spasms. Harry realized he was actually having fun. Making his professor come so undone was quite enjoyable.

Snape couldn’t believe it. The rabbit was mocking him. Mocking him! It kept weaving between his legs, making Snape turn in circles like some idiot! Snape felt ridiculous! He straightened up and sent his most vicious glare at the rabbit, which had moved a few feet away and stood there facing him. He noticed that the rabbit was breathing heavily, and every here and there it shook its head as though ridding itself of dust or something.

Snape watched it without moving, and after a few minutes it seemed like some of its wariness left it. Then it sat up on its haunches and brought its paws to its face, licking them and then swiping them over its face. Lick, swipe, lick, swipe. The paws seemed to twitch on their own, and then its whole body twitched as it tilted its head to the side and drew one ear down to swipe over. Snape had seen this behavior before from rabbits, but for some reason seeing a rabbit do that in the middle of his chambers seemed funny. In fact, it drew a chuckle from him.

The chuckle, that deep rumbling sound that was so unfamiliar to Harry’s ears, made him stop cleaning himself. His ears perked forward and he raised his head to get a better look at Snape. _Merlin, he’s laughing! Snape is honest to god chuckling! At what? Me? That sound is just so...so...unlike him. I don’t think he’s ever laughed before, at least not around me._ Harry didn’t know what to think about that. He idly wondered if he should be even more afraid.

Snape knelt down so he was closer to eye level with the rabbit, which seemed to decide it should be wary again. He smirked in amusement. “I give up,” he said dryly, “you have tired me out. A creature that wants to live so much should not be killed in such a way. You are far better suited to die of old age, aren’t you?”

Harry’s ears twitched at the words. He stared in astonishment at Snape. The man was giving up? He wasn’t going to kill him? Harry wanted to answer Snape. He wanted to so badly, but he couldn’t even make a sound. _What do you think I’ve been doing all this time? All these years, all I’ve wanted is to live, to survive. I have a madman trying to kill me, and an entire population counting on me to save them! All I want to do is live so I can die of old age, instead of some horrific curse._

Snape held out a hand, “Come, I won’t harm you. You have proven you deserve to live.” When the rabbit cautiously stretched its head out to sniff at his fingers from a few feet away, Snape smirked. When it took a tiny hop so that its body followed its head and brought it closer, Snape could almost see the wary trust that the creature was putting in him. When it bumped its nose against his finger, Snape for some strange reason found the act endearing. He slowly turned his hand over so as not to startle the rabbit and stroked a single slender finger over the top of its head. The fur was soft as silk.

Harry twitched, tensing when the finger brushed over his head. It was an odd sensation, but it reminded Harry of when Draco sifts his fingers through his hair. Draco would always say he was trying to make Harry’s hair stay in place, but Harry could tell that Draco just like petting him.

When Harry was certain that Snape wasn’t going to suddenly snap his neck, his muscles began to relax and he found himself leaning towards the petting. It felt soothing and calm. Snape's’ fingers weren’t as warm as Draco’s were, and they were rougher than Draco’s, but it still felt good. _Maybe I just like to be pet,_ he thought hazily. He felt like he was going into a daze.

Snape noticed how the rabbit’s breathing was slowing to a calm pace, and smirked again. It was odd how suddenly he didn’t want to kill the creature. It had made a fool of Snape, which was very difficult to do, and so Snape could only guess that because of that, he was reluctant to kill the rabbit. “I suppose you won’t be house-elf food after all,” he commented dryly. In response, the rabbit turned its head slightly and a little pink tongue slipped out to lick his wrist.

Actually _lick_ him! Of all the ridiculous, preposterous things that could possibly be done to him, the rabbit chose to lick him! Snape was flabbergasted. It stole another chuckle from him, which he quickly covered up with a cough. He looked at the rabbit sternly, about to give it one of his stern lectures about the improprieties of licking a man such as himself, when he noticed a bit of discoloration under the fur on the head of the rabbit. Frowning, Snape reached out with his other hand as well to further investigate, but it caused the rabbit to tense again.

“Relax. There is something wrong with your skin, I think. Be still, brat,” he said sternly and oddly enough, the rabbit stood still and seemed to relax just a smidgen. So, not one to question his luck, Snape sifted the fur and saw that indeed, there was a mark on the pink skin that was beneath the fur. He leaned over to get a closer look, frowning in puzzlement. A jagged line went across the top of the head. It looked remarkably like...

“Potter!” Snape snatched his hands away as though they were burned. He actually lost his balance and fell on his arse. He stared incredulously at the rabbit which now was scuttling backwards looking frightened again. _That was, without a doubt, Potter's scar. Potter is a rabbit? Potter is a bloody rabbit!_

Snape felt the rage wash over him at being so humiliated by a rabbit. By _Potter_ as a rabbit! He stood up and glared menacingly down at the boy...rabbit. “I don’t know what game you are playing at, Potter, but when I find out what potion you took to become a rabbit you will be scrubbing the floors of my potions classroom with a toothbrush for one hour per galleon that each ingredient I am sure you and your friends stole from me is worth!” he spat.

_But I didn’t steal anything! I didn’t want to become a rabbit! It was Fred and George!_ Harry thought frantically, backing away from the towering, raging Snape.

Snape took a step towards the boy and pulled out his wand. He knew just the spell to reverse any potion the brat had to have taken. He aimed his wand and cast the spell, watching the blue light as it zoomed towards Potter and hit him square in the face. Potter, the rabbit, ran away frightened and cowered under the couch again. Snape waited, but nothing happened. If Potter had taken a potion, the spell should have worked. It would work on any transfiguration or animagus potion. Yet the boy was still a rabbit. Which meant either Snape had cast the spell wrong, or Potter hadn’t taken a potion after all. Of course Snape couldn’t have possibly cast the spell wrong, so it had to be that Potter hadn’t taken a potion.

“Potter!” he barked. “Come out from under there right this instant or I will have you for my potions after all!”

Harry was out from under the couch in an instant, cowering several feet away from Snape. Snape merely glared at him. “You will twitch one ear for every comment I make that is correct. Understood? Twitch an ear.”

Harry twitched an ear.

“You did not take a potion to become the way you are now.”

_Did the Twins use a potion or a spell on the egg? The chocolate might have been mixed with a potion...I don’t know. Crap, what do I do?!_

“Potter,” growled Snape in warning.

Harry hopped in a circle and shook his head frantically, trying to indicate his confusion.

Snape blinked at the display, then his eyes narrowed. “Someone did this to you without your knowledge, so you do not know if it is a spell or potion?”

_Close enough, I suppose._ Harry twitched an ear.

Snape snorted. “How observant of you, Potter. I will tell you right now that it was not a potion, for if it was you would have found yourself very uncomfortable under the couch as you would have turned back into a human. The spell I used would have eliminated any potion that could cause this. Someone cursed you.”

_I wasn’t cursed! It was just a prank!_ Harry shook his head frantically.

Snape quirked a brow. “No? You don’t believe you were cursed? Then how, pray tell, did you become a rabbit?”

_Fred and George,_ thought Harry glumly, his head bowed in shame.

That brow went higher, then he smirked. “Do not tell me you _let_ someone turn you into a rabbit? Oh, Potter, that is rich. I am sure the _Daily Prophet_ would eat this story up. It is such a pity that I loathe propaganda.”

_You and me both. Now get me out of this mess!_ Harry, feeling as though Snape weren’t going to kill him anymore, hopped over to the man and pawed at his pant leg, looking up at him. _Wow, he’s really tall. I mean I knew he was taller than me but he’s really tall._

Snape peered down at Potter/rabbit in mild curiosity. “Stop that this instant,” he snapped, but the rabbit continued to paw at him. Angry and frustrated, Snape swooped down and snatched the boy/rabbit up by the scruff of his neck again, straightening and holding the boy/rabbit to eye level. Potter just hung there by his scruff without kicking or fighting, staring at him with those big brown eyes. Snape thought he could see just a fleck of green, and if he had had any doubts before he most definitely knew now that this was Potter.

“What do you want? Do you want me to fix this?” An ear twitched. “Too bad,” he snapped. “You got yourself into this, you will simply have to get yourself out. I’m sure Albus would want to help you. Or better yet, I’m sure Draco would get a real kick out of seeing you like this. He fancies petting you, doesn’t he? I’ve seen enough of that nauseating exhibit to know as much.”

Harry merely stared at Snape. _Since when does Snape see Draco petting me? We never do anything when he’s around, because we know he’ll give us detention and take away my house points. Oh, ew, was he watching us on purpose?! Sick old pervert!_ Harry gave a kick of his legs to punctuate the thought, but it only made him swing from where he dangled in Snape's grasp.

Snape smirked. He could almost see the insults flying from Harry’s mind. That kick confirmed it. “Ten points from Gryffindor for cheek, Potter.”

Another kick.

“Continue to do that and I just may drop you.”

The kicking stopped.

“Good bunny.” Snape smirked again. “Now, since it seems you were aware of this spell being cast on you, do you know how long the effects will last?”

Ear twitch.

“Good. Then you may leave and find someplace else to wait it out.” And with that Snape leaned over and let Harry go. He walked over to the wall and it parted, and he ushered the boy/rabbit out with a flourish of the hand.

Harry stood rooted to the spot staring at Snape. There was no way he was going to go out there, in the scary halls where he could run into a cruel Slytherin who would kill him. Never mind the fact that that was what he had been doing earlier. Now he had a relatively safe place to wait for Draco, and he wasn’t going to leave. To prove his point, Harry lay down.

Snape almost gaped at him. Almost. The brat laid down! In the middle of his floor! “Potter, you are not staying here!”

Harry twitched an ear almost casually and continued to stare at the man from where he lay.

Snape scowled at the boy. He walked towards him, which caused the wall to close since he wasn’t standing near it anymore. “Potter, you will leave! I do not want you staying here,” he snapped.

Another ear twitch, and Harry didn’t budge as Snape stalked closer.

“I’ll hex you,” Snape threatened, pulling out his wand.

Harry glanced from the wand to Snape and sat up. Snape seemed relieved. Harry rested on his haunches, lifted his paws to his face, and began to clean himself again.

Snape did gape this time. _He’s cleaning himself! I threaten to hex him, and he cleans himself!_ Snape simply could not believe this was happening. He watched for a moment, telling himself to simply hex the boy, but his mind kept going back to when the rabbit had been running circles around him, and when the rabbit had nuzzled into his petting. Snape couldn’t bring himself to hex the boy/rabbit.

And that was when Snape had one horrible thought. _I do not like Potter! In any way shape or form!_ he thought adamantly. Nothing else could explain his reactions though. Terrified at the thought that he may harbor some secret crush on Potter, the bane of his teaching career, Snape practically ran across the room to the fireplace.

He placed the firecall and a moment later Albus Dumbledore's face was in the fire. “Good heavens, Severus, you look quite distraught. I hope nothing is amiss?”

“Albus, you must come here at once! Potter is here and he’s--“

“Harry is there? Whatever for?”

“He is a rabbit, Albus!” snapped Snape.

Two brows went up at this statement. “Is he indeed? My goodness, that isn’t very good now is it? I suppose I can leave young Draco here for a while. The other Order members should be fine without me. Oh, hello Harry. I see you are a rabbit.”

Snape was startled to see Harry hop past him to look at the Headmaster in the fire. Harry’s ears twitched. Snape groaned. “Albus, you must come here at once.”

“Of course, Severus. I will be there shortly.” And with that the Headmaster’s head disappeared.

Snape backed away and plopped down on the couch with relief. Albus would come here and take Potter away to see Pomfrey, and then Snape could get back to his day. Alone. _Blissfully_ alone.

Snape and the Potter-Rabbit entered a staring contest, of which Potter-Rabbit was winning, much to Snape’s dismay. Snape lost three times before Albus arrived twenty minutes later. Snape practically leapt off the couch. “Albus, I insist you take Potter to see Poppy right this instant.”

Albus raised eyebrows and watched as a little white ball of fluff came hopping over to greet him. Albus smiled down with twinkling eyes at Harry. “So good to see you, Harry. I must say you make a lovely rabbit.” An ear twitched and Harry backed away a step. “Oh, of course, I’m sorry. Of course you do not wish to remain a rabbit, I was merely commenting that as one you are quite adorable. Isn’t he, Severus?”

“Absolutely not!” Severus cried vehemently.

“I knew you would agree,” Albus went on as though he hadn’t heard the man. He looked down at Harry-Rabbit. “If I were to take a guess, I would say this is another result of the Weasley Twin’s products. Am I right, Harry?”

An ear twitched and Harry hopped in a circle excitedly. _Finally! Someone with brains! I knew there was a reason why I liked Dumbledore more than Snape!_

Snape snorted. “Of course it would be those two. I should have known. Potter is far too gullible.”

“Now Severus, that isn’t very nice. I believe Harry trusts his friends, as one should. It doesn’t seem that Harry is suffering or harmed in any way, are you Harry?”

Harry twitched an ear and turned his head from side to side. _Only my pride, but that I can live with._

“Very good. Fred and George would never send Harry anything they thought would harm him. I am sure that they thought he and Draco might enjoy this. No one could have foreseen that you would find Harry instead of Draco, Severus.”

Snape snorted. “That you would allow those two to deliver here is beyond my understanding.”

“Ah, I have tried to keep their owls away, but I have long since given up. They are very gifted, those two. They also have a knack for knowing what their customers need most.”

“Are you implying that Potter _wanted_ to be turned into a rabbit?” asked Snape incredulously.

“Perhaps not, but the end justifies the means, don’t you think?” asked Dumbledore with twinkling eyes.

Snape didn’t like that question and he didn’t like the look in Albus’ eyes either. “What end would that be?” he asked warily.

“We shall see, we shall see,” was all Dumbledore said before turning to Harry again. “I am sure that the spell will wear off once its effectiveness is gone. I am sure Fred and George gave you enough time to enjoy it with Draco, hm? As Draco will be staying with the Order for a while longer, I think it best for you to remain with Severus until it wears off or Draco returns.”

“What?! Absolutely not! Albus, you cannot be serious!” exploded Snape.

“Oh, I am quite serious, Severus. I am sure you will take good care of Harry.”

Harry looked back and forth between the two of them, feeling like he was watching a tennis match. Dumbledore 2, Snape 0.

“I have things I must do and cannot be wasting my time babysitting Potter until his boyfriend comes to collect him!” snapped Snape.

“I’m sure he won’t be in the way. He is only a rabbit, after all. What harm could he do?”

“He could annoy me!” snapped Snape.

“Indeed, it seems he already has.”

“I want him out, Albus!”

“I’m afraid not. You are the only one I trust to keep Harry safe, Severus.”

Game point. Dumbledore wins.

Snape scowled. “Fine! You owe me for this, Albus.”

“I am sure you will have fun. Now, if you will excuse me, I have someplace I must be. Good day, Harry, Severus.” And with that Dumbledore turned around walked back out of the room, the wall sealing behind him.

There was silence after that, the Potter-Rabbit and Snape staring at each other. Snape scowled. Harry, unperturbed, hopped over to the couch. There was a low coffee table in front of it, and he hopped onto the coffee table. His furry paws however could not get any traction on the polished surface and he slid across it, front legs/arms sliding out in a V until he was lying flat on his belly, completely surprised to be in such a ridiculous position.

“POTTER! Get off of my coffee table this instant!” roared Snape.

Startled, Harry leapt up, slipping and sliding, and scrambled to the edge of the coffee table. He used his hind legs to propel him off and up onto the couch, landing with a soft plop.

Snape stormed over to the coffee table, and was horrified to see scratches from where Potter-Rabbit’s nails scratched the surface. He turned his menacing glare to the Potter-Rabbit, who was sitting on the couch, cleaning himself. Snape stared in astonishment. _Has the boy lost what little common sense he had? How dare he sit there as though he didn’t just ruin a perfectly good piece of furniture, cleaning himself! Good lord, no, don’t clean yourself THERE!_ But indeed, Potter-Rabbit stretched out a hind leg so it was straight along his side, twisted his torso about, and was licking himself _there_.

Harry didn’t even really notice what he was doing right away. He just randomly got these urges to clean himself, so he did. It wasn’t until he felt his tongue touching _that_ that he realized what he was doing. Immediately, he jumped and hopped to the other side of the couch, mortified. He twitched. He couldn’t believe he had just done that! He wanted to spit, but he couldn’t figure out how to.

Upon seeing the way Potter-Rabbit acted, Snape couldn’t help it. He suddenly found it highly amusing again. Potter had licked himself _there_ without even realizing it! Oh, that was simply marvelous! Snape chuckled, which caused Potter-Rabbit to look over at him with ears perked, and Snape only chuckled more. Shaking his head, he pulled out his wand and cast a repairing charm on the coffee table, and then for good measure added a ward that would protect it against scratches and such.

Then he moved to the side of the couch that Potter-Rabbit did not occupy and sat down. There was comfortable silence for a few minutes, with Snape staring into the fireplace, lost in his own thoughts on how unlikely this entire situation was. Then he felt silky fur brush against his hand and looked down. Potter-Rabbit had moved over so that he was pressed along Snape’s thigh, his head tilted up to nuzzle against Snape’s hand.

“You want me to pet you?” asked Snape incredulously. The head nudged his hand again, and Snape sighed. _Why not? In for a penny, in for a pound._ So Snape pet Potter-Rabbit, lightly stroking a finger along the top of his head, between his ears, down his back. Over and over again. Suddenly a strange clicking sound was heard and he glanced down, noticing that Potter-Rabbit’s eyes were half shut and he was blinking almost lazily. Potter-Rabbits’ mouth was moving, and Snape realized the clicking was coming from the boy/rabbit.

_He’s purring?_ Snape couldn’t believe it. Potter-Rabbit was doing a rabbit version of purring. He almost stopped right then and there, but when he went to pull his hand away, Potter-Rabbit lifted his head and nudged his hand again, and Snape simply couldn’t find it in him to deny the boy/rabbit. So he continued to pet, and went back to staring into the fireplace. After a while, the gentle clicking sound and hypnotic movement of the fire lulled him to sleep.

 

*************************

  


“HARRY?!”

Snape was startled out of his sleep by a very rude and all-too-familiar voice shouting. He realized two things at once: His hand was threaded through decidedly unruly, soft hair, and Potter was no longer a rabbit. In fact, Potter was lying across the couch, head on Snape’s lap, one arm wrapped about Snape’s waist. And he was waking up.

“What the bloody hell is going on?!” cried Draco, shocked at the sight before him.

“Ah, so Harry changed back. Very good,” said Dumbledore as he stepped into the room behind Draco.

“Mm...nnn,” came a reply from Harry, who was shifting and slowly waking up.

Snape was too surprised to say anything. Potter was rubbing his face against Snape’s clothed stomach, and the shifting made Snape have a reaction that he definitely did not want to have, but he was too flabbergasted to do or say anything.

Harry’s eyes fluttered open and he rolled onto his back, looking up sleepily. His vision was blurry, probably because he wasn’t wearing glasses, but he could make out the sight of Snape looking down at him and remembering the delightful petting he had gotten, Harry smiled, still believing he was in rabbit form. “G’morning,” he said groggily. And realized that he spoke, instead of thought. His eyes widened. He raised his hands, shocked to see that they were back to normal. “I’m human!”

“Of course you’re human! What the bloody hell is going on?!” exploded Draco, glaring at Harry and Snape. “Why are you laying on Snape? Snape, why are you bloody sitting there!”

Snape jolted out of his state of shock and practically leapt off the couch, causing Harry to fall from his lap to the floor. However, Snape still didn’t know what to say. He was rock-hard, and completely lost as to how to solve this situation. He had no way of explaining why they had been in such a position without making things sound as bad as they looked, and Albus with his twinkling eyes was _smirking_ at him while Draco _glared_ at him, and Harry from his spot on the floor looked up at him with hurt in his eyes. Snape did the only thing he could think of. “OUT! I want all of you out NOW!” he roared, spun about on his heel, and retreated to his bedroom, slamming the door shut behind him.

In the silence that followed his retreat, Harry stood up and looked at Draco bashfully. “Eh-heh, well, it’s a funny story actually...”

Draco glared at him with a raised brow. “I’m being interrogated all day and you’re laying on Snape’s lap? Oh, I would love to know how that came to happen. You’ll tell me all about it while I eat dinner. _You_ have a _lot_ to make up for,” threatened Draco.

Harry blushed in embarrassment and anticipation on how he could make things up to Draco. “R-right...um, see you, Headmaster.”

“Of course, of course, run along you two,” said Dumbledore with sparkling eyes, watching as Draco dragged Harry out. Dumbledore glanced at the shut door of Snape’s bedroom, smiled brightly, and turned around to leave as well. _Yes, this is very interesting. One cannot prevent these things though. It is best to flow with the tide._

 

**********************

  


Later that night, as Harry climbed into his bed with a bright grin on his face, he heard the sound of paper crinkling beneath him. Reaching under himself he pulled out a small piece of parchment. Frowning, he flipped it over and read it.

_P.S. Make sure you’re already with Draco when you eat this, mate. We made yours special!_

Harry groaned. He would have to be more careful in the future.

 

******************

  


At the same time in Snape’s bedroom, Snape was tilting his head back as he carefully tipped a vial over his open mouth. Three drops hit his tongue and he snapped the vial closed. A moment later he felt the effects of the potion take hold.

“I do no...no...NO...BLAST IT ALL! I fancy Potter!”

 

*************************

  
**_~Fin~_ **

**Author's Note:**

> This story was originally published in 2007 as an Easter fic, part of the Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes series. It was cross-posted on SkyeHawke, ForeverFandom, and HPFandom. It has been fully edited.


End file.
